After watching enough reality TV you can feel as if you’ve learned absolutely nothing, and even possibly lost a few brain cells. However, some of the most fascinating story lines in reality TV come from the single woman’s search for lasting love, or romantic couples on the brink of disaster sprinkled with drama induced by egos, cocktails, a camera crew with millions of viewers tuning in weekly. After seeing a gambit of these shows over the years, what lessons can we really take and learn from it all? Here are a few reality TV lessons pertaining to dating.
Be careful to whom you give your love away.
Take it slow and do your research. We’ve seen from Catfish the importance of doing your research.
But knowing someone’s background can also prevent you from getting caught up like the women on All My Babies’ Mamas (spring 2013) about Shawty Lo, his 11 children, their 10 different mothers and his new 19-year-old girlfriend. It’s important to know what you what from your partner in terms of a family, and the possibility of an extended family. If children keep popping up while you’re dating, it’s probably time for you to pop up out of there and find someone else!
Move at your own pace and don’t let others influence you or tell you what to do.
In the fifth season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss found love among the show’s production team with her new boo, Todd Tucker. Even though RHOA co-stars have been pressing Kandi and Todd to get engaged, they hold firm in doing what works for them and shutting down those conversations before they get too deep. A perfect example of doing things at your own pace.
Communicate clearly what you want in the relationship and stand by your words.
At every turn Chrissy Lampkin boldly made it known what she expected from Jim Jones, starting on Love & Hip Hop and culminating on to Chrissy & Mr. Jones. Chrissy was determined she would not be walked all over by Jim’s mother; she demanded compensation for helping him build his fashion line; she set out clear boundaries for his interaction with other women; and she refused to have a child with him until he was mature enough to commit himself to her through marriage. Love her or hate her, Chrissy earned Jim’s respect by being a strong woman who knew her worth in his life, what she wanted and stood by her beliefs.
Pressuring a man into marriage is a guaranteed fail!
Believe it or not those peachy housewives have so much to teach us! RHOA’s Kenya Moore may have known how to win Miss USA but she has no clue how to win over Walter Jackson’s heart. She has shown us that by bringing every conversation around to “When do you plan to propose?” has gotten her nowhere but sleeping alone. Don’t wait for a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, but at the same time don’t force it into a ditch by arguing about marriage. SN ladies: Fake cooking a meal on nationwide TV does not work! There are too many simple and easy recipes out there for that.
Relax and enjoy the dating scene. Dating should be fun!
Use the “getting to know each other” phase as a chance to try new places, get dolled up and try out new make-up, take trips and do things you’ve never done before with the new person in your life. Well known exhibitionists Joe Budden and Kaylin Garcia, new stars of Love & Hip Hop season 3, are frequently posting on Instagram while out together at the strip club, sunning in the pool, working out, making late night runs to the store, or having date night, among many other things. You really can see how much they enjoy these activities with each other.
Keep some things private in your relationship.
Viewers love tuning in to The Family Hustle to see the King of the South, TI aka Tip Harris, be a daddy to his large brood of creative and fun-loving kids. Everyone knows how much TI and Tiny love each other, so keeping that part of their relationship private and focusing on the Harris children, helps keep their love solid as a rock. Remember: Everything is not for everybody, but there is definitely a lesson to be learned from all of the reality TV foolishness and drama.
Have you learned any other valuable dating lessons from reality TV? Tell us below…
The Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) hosted PROJECT REALism on Wednesday, August 29, 2012 in New York City. The standing-room only event had a line wrapped around the corner as more than 147 young women participated in an interactive panel discussion with their favorite stars on the impact of reality TV on young women.
Participants included: WEEN co-founders Valeisha Butterfield – Jones, Kristi Henderson, Lauren Lake and Sabrina Thompson, also the runner-up on CBS’ Survivor, celebrity host Amanda Seales, Emily B, Mashonda, Somaya Reece and Yandy Smith, all formerly of Vh1’s Love and Hip Hop, Adrienne Bailon of the Style Network’s Empire Girls, Andrea Kelly of Vh1’s Hollywood Exes, Meeka Claxton formerly of Vh1’s Basketball Wives, anti-domestic violence activist Sil Lai Abrams, psychologist/author Dr. Michelle Callahan and others.
Panelists shared insights on their reality TV experiences and reality TV in general…
- Andrea Kelly (VH1′s Hollywood Exes) - “Don’t be a fool and you won’t get fooled”,” Be a living example”
Adrienne Bailon (Style TV’s Empire Girls) came from humble beginnings, grew up in the projects in the lower east side, her mother still works at a local hospital. She wanted to work with a network that displayed positive images of women. She selected the Style Network because of Kimora Lee Simmons and her show “Life in the Fab Lane” She wanted show people what she was doing to break out as a solo artist after her stints with 3LW & Cheetah girls.
Meeka Claxton (VH1′s Basketball Wives), came on the show to shed a positive light on being a basketball wife, although she is married to a basketball player she created her own wealth, she wanted to show viewers that you can make your dreams come true. She stated she is a business woman, wife, mother, sister and daughter. She is a business owner who has two successful businesses. One being a real estate business where she travels with athletes to help them buy property.
Yandy Smith, (VH1′s Love & Hip Hop) worked behind the scenes for the first season of Love& Hip-Hop but came to the forefront on the second season as an Entertainment Manager and an Entrepreneur. She said she came on the show to show young girls that you can have your own if you work for it. You can have the nice car, clothes, shoes and all the above if you work for it. She wanted to show that her success was not connected to a man.
Rating were identified as the primary reason for the continued imbalance on reality television with regard to how women of color are portrayed among other environmental and cultural factors. WEEN announced clear action items and next steps, including: each person in attendance to join weenonline.org, to sign-up to mentor at least one young lady, and to commit to joining WEEN’s future PROJECT REALism programs to empower young girls. The mentorship programs are ongoing and an opportunity for WEEN members to get involved. In addition, WEEN announced upcoming television and online programming with more balanced content currently in development and attendees were asked to stay tuned, get involved and support.
For more information on WEEN and to get involved, go to www.weenonline.org
credit: Johnny Nunez
Michael Kors announced the launch of “Living The Kors Life,” an ongoing, interactive, shoppable digital video and content series that will showcase
the rich mix of personalities—all with diverse lifestyles, fashion sensibilities, passions and life perspectives—who work at and wear Michael Kors. Available online now, the newly redesigned Destination Kors, the company’s digital content site, the first iteration of this large-scale global
initiative will star three women from the New York headquarters of Michael Kors, all working in different areas of the company and all reflections of the designer’s belief in the Michael Kors woman as an intriguing mix of casual and chic, sexy and glamorous, smart and funny.
As “Living the Kors Life” rolls out each season, a new cast of women from within the company will be introduced, with the goal of scaling the series globally to include Michael Kors employees from the company’s worldwide offices and shops. Content will also be translated across international markets eventually.
The first installment of “Living the Kors Life” features a video of Michael Kors introducing the project, and a teaser video of the three women in the summer-season series, which will run through August 31. A click-through shoppable sidebar called “Get Her Look” will feature the pieces (or similar items) worn in each video. Each woman will then post weekly, recounting what she’s obsessed with across a range of interests; how she wore a piece of Michael Kors that week; and because women’s lives are multi-textured, what she did recently to make the world just a little bit better. Merchandise featured in weekly blog posts will be shoppable via a link to michaelkors.com
Visit www.DestinationKors.com to view the series and experience the new Destination Kors.