After watching enough reality TV you can feel as if you’ve learned absolutely nothing, and even possibly lost a few brain cells. However, some of the most fascinating story lines in reality TV come from the single woman’s search for lasting love, or romantic couples on the brink of disaster sprinkled with drama induced by egos, cocktails, a camera crew with millions of viewers tuning in weekly. After seeing a gambit of these shows over the years, what lessons can we really take and learn from it all? Here are a few reality TV lessons pertaining to dating.
Be careful to whom you give your love away.
Take it slow and do your research. We’ve seen from Catfish the importance of doing your research.
But knowing someone’s background can also prevent you from getting caught up like the women on All My Babies’ Mamas (spring 2013) about Shawty Lo, his 11 children, their 10 different mothers and his new 19-year-old girlfriend. It’s important to know what you what from your partner in terms of a family, and the possibility of an extended family. If children keep popping up while you’re dating, it’s probably time for you to pop up out of there and find someone else!
Move at your own pace and don’t let others influence you or tell you what to do.
In the fifth season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi Burruss found love among the show’s production team with her new boo, Todd Tucker. Even though RHOA co-stars have been pressing Kandi and Todd to get engaged, they hold firm in doing what works for them and shutting down those conversations before they get too deep. A perfect example of doing things at your own pace.
Communicate clearly what you want in the relationship and stand by your words.
At every turn Chrissy Lampkin boldly made it known what she expected from Jim Jones, starting on Love & Hip Hop and culminating on to Chrissy & Mr. Jones. Chrissy was determined she would not be walked all over by Jim’s mother; she demanded compensation for helping him build his fashion line; she set out clear boundaries for his interaction with other women; and she refused to have a child with him until he was mature enough to commit himself to her through marriage. Love her or hate her, Chrissy earned Jim’s respect by being a strong woman who knew her worth in his life, what she wanted and stood by her beliefs.
Pressuring a man into marriage is a guaranteed fail!
Believe it or not those peachy housewives have so much to teach us! RHOA’s Kenya Moore may have known how to win Miss USA but she has no clue how to win over Walter Jackson’s heart. She has shown us that by bringing every conversation around to “When do you plan to propose?” has gotten her nowhere but sleeping alone. Don’t wait for a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, but at the same time don’t force it into a ditch by arguing about marriage. SN ladies: Fake cooking a meal on nationwide TV does not work! There are too many simple and easy recipes out there for that.
Relax and enjoy the dating scene. Dating should be fun!
Use the “getting to know each other” phase as a chance to try new places, get dolled up and try out new make-up, take trips and do things you’ve never done before with the new person in your life. Well known exhibitionists Joe Budden and Kaylin Garcia, new stars of Love & Hip Hop season 3, are frequently posting on Instagram while out together at the strip club, sunning in the pool, working out, making late night runs to the store, or having date night, among many other things. You really can see how much they enjoy these activities with each other.
Keep some things private in your relationship.
Viewers love tuning in to The Family Hustle to see the King of the South, TI aka Tip Harris, be a daddy to his large brood of creative and fun-loving kids. Everyone knows how much TI and Tiny love each other, so keeping that part of their relationship private and focusing on the Harris children, helps keep their love solid as a rock. Remember: Everything is not for everybody, but there is definitely a lesson to be learned from all of the reality TV foolishness and drama.
Have you learned any other valuable dating lessons from reality TV? Tell us below…
Rah Ali – Launch of Encore her private shoe label
Wednesday December 12th we had the pleasure of attending the RSVP lounge for the launch of ENCORE… The private shoe label by Rahshidah Ali. This shoe consultant to the stars as she is amicably known, previously owned shoe boutique Bourgeoisie in New York and B Chic Boutique in Atlanta. She has shoe-styled the likes of Alicia Keys, Mona Scott Young of VH1 and Wendy Williams just to name a few…
Remember those killer leopard platforms Mona wore for the reunion show of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta?? Yep Rah-Ali provided those…
She is known for her Avant Garde one of a kind taste and is the go to girl when you want the most exclusive looks on 2 feet..It was only a matter of time before the antipication grew for her own line.
The launch event was most definitely star studded to the max with a number of known A-listers from reality tv, including Ramona Rizzo from Mob Wives, Meeka Claxton from Basketball Wives and Yandy Smith from Love and Hip Hop. The new castmates for the upcoming season of Love and Hip Hop were also in attendance which will include Ms Rah Ali, The Real Tahiry and more.
Rah Ali has long been a respected figure in the industry and definitely has a rising star in the public eye now as well! Look out for much more from her in the near future, her goals include a more affordable line of shoes for QVC, Walmart and Target.
Check out the pics from the event below courtesy of Storm PR Agency!
The holidays are here, Black Friday is over, and people are still struggling to find the perfect holiday gifts for their loved ones. Gift-giving can be a difficult task, especially when you want to impress and make your loved ones feel special. So what makes a gift THE perfect gift? Consider these 3 elements to ensure that your loved ones are beyond satisfied and appreciative of your efforts.
Element of SURPRISE
During the holiday season it is expected to receive gifts, but the great thing about the holiday is the mere fact that it’s a season! Other than the day of the holiday, a person can never be sure exactly when they’ll receive their gift. So have fun with this factor. You can surprise them with something they didn’t expect, the day and time of arrival, -or my favorite: the place. Switch things up. Send flowers to the office early, leave the gift in the trunk, the refrigerator, underneath their pillow or in their shower, this is where the element of surprise works completely in your favor!
Element of KNOWLEDGE
Nothing says the perfect gift better than something given from what you know about that particular person. Find out what’s the person’s favorite color, candy, author, collectors item, product, sports team, hobby, etc. The list is limitless. With tons of social networks all you have to do is click on a profile and investigate (also known as accessible stalking- but acceptable in this case), and fulfill their desire with something they already love.
Element of NEED
In next month’s issue of Glamour Magazine, Glamour exposes the dangers of dating scammers using online dating sites to scam millions of dollars from women each year. From men using fake photos to lure women in to last minute “emergencies” and requesting help with cash. Glamour gives you a few tips to keep in your arsenal just in case you’re feeling suspicious about a budding online romance.
He says he works overseas, blurts “I love you” within weeks, and can never manage to Skype? Those are all clues — and so are these:
The foreign IP address. There is a number embedded in every email that reveals where the sender’s computer is. (Romancescams.org will tell you how to find it.) A guy who claims to be in Ohio but has a Nigerian IP address is clearly pulling a fast one.
The fake profile photo. Go to Google and select “Images.” Click on the camera icon in the right of the search field, and upload your date’s photo. You’ll see a list of places online where that image appears. If any are attached to another man’s name, your paramour may be a scammer.
The delayed response. If a date always pauses at easy questions like “What street did you grow up on? What was it like?” he may be searching the Internet for the right comeback.
The “honey” thing. These guys almost always use “hon,” love,” or “wifey” rather than your name. It’s easier when they’re courting so many women — and it’s a way to gain your trust.
If you’re suspicious of any date you meet online… Enter his name and email on sites like romancescams.org, romancescam.com, scamsurvivors.com or military gear.com/asp just to make sure he hasn’t burned other women. If you do encounter a con artist, post his details on those sites as well, and report him to ic3.gov. Sometimes it’s that one little bit of information that helps break an investigative case.
Have you ever tried online dating or even meeting someone through social media sites? Earlier sites like Blackplanet.com or Myspace.com or more had tons of suspicious activity on them. Luckily I’ve never had to encounter any of those sleezy tactics, however I’ve had a fair share of “hons” “baby” and “wifey” names that I wasn’t too fond about and had to to drop them like a bad habit.
What do you think? Do you have any tips on how to bust an online scammer? Share below…
The Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network (WEEN) hosted PROJECT REALism on Wednesday, August 29, 2012 in New York City. The standing-room only event had a line wrapped around the corner as more than 147 young women participated in an interactive panel discussion with their favorite stars on the impact of reality TV on young women.
Participants included: WEEN co-founders Valeisha Butterfield – Jones, Kristi Henderson, Lauren Lake and Sabrina Thompson, also the runner-up on CBS’ Survivor, celebrity host Amanda Seales, Emily B, Mashonda, Somaya Reece and Yandy Smith, all formerly of Vh1’s Love and Hip Hop, Adrienne Bailon of the Style Network’s Empire Girls, Andrea Kelly of Vh1’s Hollywood Exes, Meeka Claxton formerly of Vh1’s Basketball Wives, anti-domestic violence activist Sil Lai Abrams, psychologist/author Dr. Michelle Callahan and others.
Panelists shared insights on their reality TV experiences and reality TV in general…
- Andrea Kelly (VH1’s Hollywood Exes) – “Don’t be a fool and you won’t get fooled”,” Be a living example”
Adrienne Bailon (Style TV’s Empire Girls) came from humble beginnings, grew up in the projects in the lower east side, her mother still works at a local hospital. She wanted to work with a network that displayed positive images of women. She selected the Style Network because of Kimora Lee Simmons and her show “Life in the Fab Lane” She wanted show people what she was doing to break out as a solo artist after her stints with 3LW & Cheetah girls.
Meeka Claxton (VH1’s Basketball Wives), came on the show to shed a positive light on being a basketball wife, although she is married to a basketball player she created her own wealth, she wanted to show viewers that you can make your dreams come true. She stated she is a business woman, wife, mother, sister and daughter. She is a business owner who has two successful businesses. One being a real estate business where she travels with athletes to help them buy property.
Yandy Smith, (VH1’s Love & Hip Hop) worked behind the scenes for the first season of Love& Hip-Hop but came to the forefront on the second season as an Entertainment Manager and an Entrepreneur. She said she came on the show to show young girls that you can have your own if you work for it. You can have the nice car, clothes, shoes and all the above if you work for it. She wanted to show that her success was not connected to a man.
Rating were identified as the primary reason for the continued imbalance on reality television with regard to how women of color are portrayed among other environmental and cultural factors. WEEN announced clear action items and next steps, including: each person in attendance to join weenonline.org, to sign-up to mentor at least one young lady, and to commit to joining WEEN’s future PROJECT REALism programs to empower young girls. The mentorship programs are ongoing and an opportunity for WEEN members to get involved. In addition, WEEN announced upcoming television and online programming with more balanced content currently in development and attendees were asked to stay tuned, get involved and support.
For more information on WEEN and to get involved, go to www.weenonline.org
credit: Johnny Nunez
So you’re bored, lonely and looking for a date right now? There’s actually an app for that! (You hear that? That’s the sound of thousands of lonely guys and gals rejoicing in the streets.) According to the New York Times, there’s a growing pool of people using cellphone applications that let them make an instant date, based on who is in the area and available to grab a drink.
They say the services allow them to skip the more elaborate mating rituals of standard online dating, which seems to move glacially in an era of text messaging and social networking. On the apps, which use smartphone location technology, users post a simple profile and then broadcast their availability, or scan a list of others who have done so. They can immediately exchange messages and, if there is mutual interest, decide where to meet.
Some of the apps are stand-alone, while others are new features of established dating sites; there are fewer than a dozen so far, including Blendr, OkCupid Locals and HowAboutWe. They tend to be free, making money by selling ads or charging for extra features. OkCupid Locals is part of OkCupid, a larger dating site, which says a tenth of its 2.5 million active members use the location features in the mobile app. HowAboutWe began a little over a year ago as a Web site where people post suggestions for dates they would like to have. (One recent idea: “How about we go on a cupcake tour of Manhattan?”) It released an iPhone app with location features in June. Since then, the company says, more than 100,000 dates have been posted through the app, or roughly 30 percent of the total dates ever posted on the service.
If this is what finding a date has come to, are you willing to check it out – or do you believe it’s too intrusive?
Have you ever recieved a love note via email? Feels nice, doesn’t it? There’s nothing like a quick, unexpected email to interrupt your day telling you how special you are, how somebody loves you or how you’re on somebody’s mind and heart! What about professing your love via email (or social media) and it backfiring?
Well unfortunately, the rest of this post isn’t the post for you…
Have you heard of the LOVE GONE WRONG stories that always seem to begin with the “unexpected” breakup email or the dreaded email hack that exposed infidelities & affairs. *YIKES* Sites like BreakUpEmail.com, “…helping you break up with the power of the internet” have made the opening of inboxes mighty difficult for many people in the electronic age. There are even tons of sites online that walk you step-by-step on techniques on “Breaking Up via Email.”
Check out some of these e-breakup tips found online…
- Give facts when discussing the break up. Shorter is better when breaking up through email. It’s hard for the other person to dispute facts.
- Refrain from asking questions in the email such as “This relationship hasn’t been right for a long time. Do you agree?” Doing so invites a response, which is not what you want. You want to avoid an email “argument” that can ensue after you send an email breakup message.
- Take the other person’s feelings into account. Use phrases that show you are sensitive to the other person such as “I think this is best for you” or “I know how you are feeling.” Be firm but compassionate.
- Repeat that the relationship is over in every subsequent email should you get involved in an email debate with the person over the breakup.
- Don’t go off into long personal discussions or explanations when breaking up over email.
- Putting a break up in writing allows for the words to come back to haunt you later. Once it’s written, it’s done. Choose your words carefully. Don’t write anything you may regret later.
Last but certainly not least:
- Break up in person, if at all possible. It is not considered proper social etiquette to break up through email, text messaging or over the phone.
It’s apparent that email is an essential part of communication (good & bad) and its to be used wisely & personally professional as possible. Some things in this day and age should be kept offline and out of emails and BreakUps are included. I’d like to see more love letter stories and happy ending tales via email like stories found on Zoomdoggle.com or LoveLettersNow.com or even sending an email via Yahoo! would be a nice start. Let’s Let Love Rule again by staying connected in the good ways and thinking twice about conveying not-so-good news via email. This week try to make someone feel special by sending a quick E-Love-Me email (rather than the E-Love-Me-Not…)